The Best Halloween!

No, we do not have our LOA yet. Today is day 70, so it probably wont be for another couple weeks. Hopefully sooner.

First, allow me to thank those who offered kind words after my last post, it really means a lot and does help. Like I said, some days are good, some are bad.

Today looked like it was going to be bad. I follow a chinese adoption forum and several people got their LOA's today. When this happens I am torn between being happy that SOMEONE got something and jealous that it wasn't us. I'm only human, after all.

Then, I opened my email to get a link to the best Halloween present of all time! Talk about treat!

Looks like she got her care package :)

Is she making her ducky give kisses to the photos? Let's say yes.

I need to switch places with that ducky right now!

We needed this. We needed it very badly, myself especially. Then, just when I thought I could keep it together, I see there is a little video included (I hope I can make this work):



She is walking! Taking her first hesitant steps and we haven't missed it, not really. We get to cheer her on and see the joy on her face when she does it. Go baby girl, go! Not too many more months before we get to see her in person. I just hope we can keep up!

And still we wait...

We've been asked a bunch over the last few weeks if we have any news or have heard anything. Unfortunately, no. The wait for LOA can take 3-4 months and sometimes longer. We have now been waiting just over two months (63 days for those who are counting). I assure you, we have felt every moment of those two months.

We've also been asked how we are doing. We appreciate so much that people care how we are holding up during this time. Honestly, some days are good and some days are bad. Nora's birthday was both. We'll post about the birthday soon, but tonight I just needed to write about other things.

So what sort of day was today? The day itself was quite good, but emotionally it was very hard. At church there was a program put on by the children. These have been hard for me for about 4 years, so it's not surprising that my emotions were on edge by the end of it. It's so hard seeing so many cute children waving to their moms and dads and knowing that our girl is still so far from us. Each week my mind obsesses over numbers and average wait times and holidays that affect the process and I see our hopes of traveling get pushed back and back until the idea that I once thought January or early February was possible is laughable. Now, I'm simply hoping it's not March, but it looks more likely.

There are plenty of people who have waited longer than us, and I feel awful for complaining when they have no LOA after over 4 months. It's just so messed up on all sides. They say adoption isn't for the fainthearted and, oh boy, that is an understatement and a half!

I got to hold Nora in my dreams again the other night. She warmed up to me quickly and wanted to play bouncy games on my knees. I heard her giggle for the first time. Sometimes the dreams are short, only a few minutes. Other times, like this one, it seems like I get to hold her for a few hours. of course, when I wake up she isn't there and the months of waiting we still have ahead of us seem to be shoved in my face. I worry that something will go wrong and we wont be allowed to adopt her, I worry that our paperwork will get lost and we'll be waiting even longer, I worry that on days when she is being particularly hard to deal with I will forget how much I ached for her to be with us. I know I'm being melodramatic, it's just been a hard few days (months, years, whatever).

In happier news, she has received the care package we sent to her and the home had a birthday party for her and a couple other kids with October birthdays and they even took some pictures (no, we don't have them yet). She may not be playing bouncy games with me, but she is being loved and played with and cared for by people who will probably never know how much it means to us. We'll get through this and someday it will only be a memory. In the meantime, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as well as those families who make our wait look like a joke. Here's hoping for some good news this week.

New photo

My week just got 1000% better.

Care Package and Donations

Let the record show that we are not the best parents ever. After almost 2 months of having permission to send a care package, we finally got it sent today. Yay!


We managed to get all this into a shoebox sized box and sent on it's merry way to central China. We sent:
-Soft ducky #2 (#1 was discovered by Curry and he was most happy to believe that it was a squeaky toy for him. Sorry, Nora...I'm sure this is something you'll have to get used to)
-Photo album with a few labeled pictures of us, the dogs, our house, etc.
-Noisy toy to help Nora's roommate have some motivation to walk (he is blind and they are thinking a noisy toy will make him want to work at being mobile).
-4 pairs of warm jammies in various sizes for the kids. The monster one is our favorite :)
-A letter to the nannies thanking them for being magical unicorns (or something to that affect, it's in Chinese, after all)
-Disposable camera

Lets talk about care packages a bit. Nora's birthday is on Wednesday and I was a bit bummed out that we weren't going to be there for it. It was suggested to me to send her a cake through a third party. This is a fairly common practice with China adoptions, but one we chose not to follow. Many orphanages don't really like someone coming in with a cake, etc. for the kids. Why? Well, you see, sending a cake and small care package costs about $100. It's not a matter of not wanting to spend the money, but it raises an interesting dillema. $100 can sponsor the care of a child for a month! You see now why I have a hard time spending that kind of money on a cake when it can do so much more good. Also, the orphanage environment is one of haves and have-nots. Not only does this child have a cake and toys while others do not, they have a family who is coming to get them in a few months, while many children will live out their lives in the orphanage.

This brings me to donations. We have had many people ask how they can help or express a desire to send Nora something during this wait. The best thing we can give to her is the help continue the amazing care she has been getting. She is being cared for by the COAT foundation and living in their Eagle's Wings #5 home (#5 is for the fragile babies). They are always in need of donations. You can send a one time donation or sponsor a child or nanny. Click this link to check out the website or make a donation (donation link is on the right side of the homepage).

Allow me to talk about how amazing COAT/Eagle's Wings is. They are an Australian run home that takes in kids from the SWIs ( social welfare institutes. Basically, a state-run orphanage). At EW5, Nora is one of about 8 kids (as opposed to the ~600 at her former SWI) who get the attention they need to thrive and get ready for surgeries, etc. When Nora was taken to EW5 she was about 3 months old and weighed about 7 1/2 pounds. It is very common for cleft lip/palate babies to be severely under weight since it taked so much time for them to eat. It is not uncommon for children of 18 months-2 years to only weigh less than 20 pounds. In the space of about 3 months, they got her weight up to 15 pounds and were able to get her an operation on her lip through Operation Smile. She is being given attention and love and amazing care, which I can't tell you how much that means to us.

Rather than sending a birthday cake, we are trying to get enough money together to help make a difference to the orphanage and those kids who will never know any other home. They need new cribs, diapers, warm clothes, and other things that are easy to take for granted here. Because of the cost of shipping, as well as customs regulations, it doesn't make much sense to ship those things to them. Instead, we are encouraging people to make financial contributions so that they can buy the items they need. We will also be setting up a paypal account specifically for orphanage donations if that is easier for people. This link will take you to the page where you can sponsor a child in Nora's home (or Nora herself).

Seriously, how can you say no to these kids?? (back left is Nora)

Oh, and don't feel too bad for Nora, they are throwing a party to celebrate her birthday as well as the other two October birthdays. Did I mention that they are supremely awesome?

Moon Festival and More Pictures

Monday marked the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival, also known as the Moon Festival. There are various legends surrounding the celebration as well as traditional foods. We decided to keep it fairly mellow. I made some orange peel chicken in my awesome wok. We visited a Chinese bakery and bought a red bean mooncake while practicing our Mandarin on the very sweet lady who rang us up. After that, we laid a blanket on the front lawn, did some moongazing, and talked about little Nora and how excited we are to be bringing her home. With all the craziness in our lives it was nice to take a moment to just be still.

We get asked quite often when we will travel and if there is any news. The simple answer is that it will likely be another month at least until we receive our Letter Of Approval (LOA) which is the next big step. Until then, we won't hear much of anything, and our travel timeframe could vary so much. It's possible (though very unlikely) that we will be going around the end of December. It is far more likely that we will be going around January/February.

Today I went to see the new posts on our adoption group's site and saw the following message:

I finally did a little blog updating, all photos. But thought "some" of you might be interested! Enjoy

This was written by the same person I've mentioned before and I can't tell you how much she rocks! Honestly, my sanity is being preserved by her updates. One of YinCi's friends at the orphanage has also gotten a family and I'm sure that the photos are as much for them as for us, but still. The fact that she would go to the trouble while being so busy means more than I can say. We are getting a few things in order financially to be able to donate to the orphanage and anyone else who wants to put money toward a very deserving group is welcome to do the same.


Now, for the part that you actually came here for. Pictures! It sounds terrible, but it took me a minute to be sure this was YinCi. She's getting so big!!


Squishy cheeks? Check! Gorgeous eyes? Yup! Look at all that hair! And new teeth!

I love her little foot on the table leg! I can't get over how big she's getting and how great she looks. Her lip repair is so amazingly well done you can barely even see the scar!

Come on LOA! Just get here already so I can give those cheeks a good squish!

An Update and a Name!

We got an update today! This afternoon, I was on a little work trip taking a tour of the production facility that spits out the tens of thousands of copies of the films we produce (it was pretty dang cool).

Suddenly, I had an email, then a text message, then a phone call... something was urgent. The text message said to check the email, so I open the mail app on my phone, and this is what greets me:


OH NOES. This is so cruel. Mean and cruel. This is the first pic we have of her smiling and it's just adorable.

I MUST SQUISH THOSE CHEEKS. It is my destiny.

It came with a quick update from the orphanage (apologies for Comic Sans, it was in the original and I am a designer, after all):

8/26/2011 Update

Update from Eagles Wings:

As of August 2, Yin Ci weighed 8.9kg and was 69cm. She is very healthy and happy. She sits unassisted. She is crawling well, and will likely take her first steps in the next couple of months.

So there's that. The thought that she might be walking soon, and I'm on the other side of the earth is crushing.

I still know it'll all be worth it.

--

After lots of thought and deliberation, we've decided on a name! It's actually one of the very first names that came up and we fell in love with immediately. We thought we should at least look at a few other names, and we did, but kept coming back to this one. Friends, I give you:

Eleanor YinCi Jackson

We'll most likely be calling her by the shortened version Nora. Ellie / Elly would be the obvious choice, but there are already 3 Ellies running around extended family right now. Plus Nora is awesome.

We've always been huge fans of the Jane Austen names (Elinor, Margaret, Emma, Mr. Willoughby, etc.), and fell in love with Elinor / Eleanor, then decided on the more common spelling.

So now we have something more concrete to call her, rather than Xiu-Face, Yin-Face, and Mrs. Squirrel-Cheeks.

-- Kevin

Apparently, the world really is small

We had a couple pretty cool things happen this week. I had forgotten (and I don't know if Kevin even knew) that once you receive pre-approval, the agency sends you the physical file that China sent them including original documents and pictures. Some families will go so far as to have their picture taken with the UPS guy since he is essentially playing the stork for them. Yeah, I don't quite get it either.
Friday I arrived home from work and found among the typical letters offering me credit cards and amazing interwebs service our referral packet. Cool! I figured it would be kinda neat seeing the original Chinese documents and it was. What I didn't count on was two pictures that had not been sent to us. The first being a tiny black and white pre-surgery shot. Sadly, the lack of colors doesn't properly display the majesty of the blue sweater, and she almost looks like someone made a part in her hair with a bandsaw. Still, we take what we can get.


Then I turned to the back of the file where the color photos were and wasn't I surprised to see this.

It may not be the most amazing shot, and I'm sure it has a different effect on other people, but when I saw it I immediately started crying. The thing is, if this picture had been included with the original referral, I doubt it would have taken me so long to recognize her. Its those eyes.

Anyway, that is not the coolest thing that happened. I was advised to join a Yahoo group or two, so I did some searching and picked three groups: The FCC (Families with Children from China) which gets together for picnics and Chinese New Year and stuff, Adopt Cleft which is a support group for families adopting cleft lip/cleft palate kids, and a group that is devoted to adopting from Zhengzhou (basically pronounced jeng joe, for those playing at home) province. Fun fact: I tried to join our local FCC about a year ago and they turned me down. I'm tempted to bring YinCi around and shout hysterically, "Am I good enough for your group now??" while weeping and wailing. Maybe not.

I posted a pretty boring and standard into into the groups and got a very quick reply from one of the other newer members of the Zhengzhou group welcoming me. I was glad to see that it seemed like a friendly bunch and figured it would be fun to connect with people whose kids are from the same area and YinCi, maybe even her same orphanage. The next day I got a message that I was certainly not expecting:

Welcome, Jen! Your little girl is totally adorable, healthy and a lot of fun. I will miss her very much, but still wish you could get here next week. Congratulations! PS - And she has about the best lip repair I have ever seen thanks to operation Smile.

Yup, her orphanage director is a member of the same group. She knows our girl, she is there with her and can tell us first hand that she is healthy and happy. I wanted so badly to just write her a huge email with tons of questions and request some more pictures as well as updated measurements and who knows what else, but I stopped myself.

Here's the deal. Our agency has sent us instructions on how to proceed as far as care packages, etc. and one of the big things they have stressed is that we are not to make any direct contact with the orphanage. It could jeopardize the adoption, the agency, and the orphanage as well. There are procedures for these sort of things, and you don't make friends with China by going against the rules. Rather than take a risk, I chose to send a simple message letting her know how much I appreciated her taking care of our girl and assuring her that I didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize anyone's standing with those in charge, so I wouldn't ask any questions or request more updates. It was hard, but I figured it would be for the best. We'd have plenty of years of pictures when we got her.

I got a response from her that night (yay 14 hour time difference!) basically saying that she is in close contact with our agency and told me to feel free to send as many questions to her as I want through our agency contact. In addition she said she would be sending pictures very soon since the ones we had were months old. She sent great info about sending care packages and just further emphasized how awesome she is and how indebted we feel to her and her organization. Seriously, guys, they are an amazing charity and I can't say enough great things about them. The fact that they doubled our daughter's low weight in only 3 or so months should give good indication of how much time and effort they put into these children.

We're so excited! It's finally feeling real. There are actual baby clothes in our house. There are pictures on our fridge. There is a little girl halfway across the world who has no idea what a miracle she is to us and those around us. Hang in there, sweetie! We'll be there as soon as they let us! Zaijian women de bao bao.