Monday, July 22, 2013


Remember how I asked people to stop talking to us about the adoption until we get LOA?  Well you all did perfectly at that task, which is now over!

WE HAVE LOA!!!!!!!

I got the email about an hour after that last post.

The Sound of Silence

Remember how upset I was in the last post?  How hard a time I was having with us being at day 57 of our LOA wait and no news?  Well, today is now day 123.

I had no idea we would ever be waiting so long.  The government office that issues approvals over there switched computer systems.  In typical fashion, there were no plans on how to keep things moving if the new system had any glitches.  In typical fashion, there were many glitches.  Approvals all but ceased for almost 2 months.  I don't even want to know how far behind this has put them.  That's a lie, I want to know something... anything about what is going on with our paperwork.

Last month we had a lovely scare in the form of a fellow adoptive parent who was at PeiSong's orphanage and had to show proof of MMR vaccination since there was an outbreak of measles there.  We got worried, and tried to find out what was going on. I kept telling myself that it was ok.  That our boy had been vaccinated, certainly.  I looked at his paperwork (I rarely look at anything about him that we have since it just makes the wait harder) and broke down in sobs when I saw the box for MMR was blank.  He hadn't been vaccinated and he was in the same building as the highly contagious disease.  We had to talk about things like mortality rates and how much higher they were in his situation (in the double digits vs. the .5% here).  We waited for almost a week for our agency to find out what was going on.  They told us that it was only 1 child and our boy was not the affected child.  Of course, that conflicts with the information we had gotten from the mom who was there, but there was nothing we could do.  There is still nothing we can do.

Our agency requested an update over a month ago.  We still haven't gotten one.  We are still left with those 4 little pictures as our only connection to our son.

All we have is unanswered questions.  I want to believe that there is a reason for all this, but I don't know that I will ever know what it is.  With silence surrounding us on all sides I have lost all hope of answers anytime soon...or ever, really.

I know it sounds melodramatic and I know people want to cheer me up.  I realize that comments like, "Man, you should just go over there and get him!" are said with good intentions, but the only thing that will help right now is getting our approval.

When we accepted this little boy I was quite certain we would be traveling in August.  It was a conservative time frame and LOAs were coming in relatively fast.  We would now be lucky to go in October.  Realistically, since we are moving and have to update our information with immigration, it is not out the the range of possibilities for us to have to wait until November or December to travel.  It makes me sick.  It makes me angry.  It makes we want to scream.  We are missing another 2 months of our son's life all because of red tape.  It's like the hospital keeping your newborn from coming home for 2 months because the doctor hasn't signed the birth certificate.  One signature.  One.  That is what we are waiting for.

To those who would wish to know what they could do or say to help, please know I love you and appreciate you, but I can't handle talking about the adoption anymore.  I can't keep saying we have heard nothing.  I can't keep nodding when you say how unfair it is.  I can't repeat the process we need to go through before we can actually get on a plane .  I can't force a smile when you assure me it will all be worth it.  I especially can't stay in the room when you talk about your pregnancy or how you understand because you were a week overdue and it was terrible.  Despite the waiting factor, this is not like pregnancy. 

I assure you, when we actually have anything to share, we will.  For now, just assume my silence mirrors China's and let's talk about something, anything else.