Homestudy

I've been asked by a few people to explain what exactly a homestudy is. Those who have already been through the process will probably snicker at my mistakes in describing it, but here goes.

The homestudy consists for 4 interviews with a social worker, house inspection, background checks, physicals (with our doctor, not a social worker), and review of our tax returns. Essentially, they are making sure we are qualified to be parents.

The meeting on Tuesday was our home inspection and the first 3 interviews (myself, Kevin, and one as a couple). As Kevin said, Suzanne (our social worker) was warm and very open about the process and struggles of international adoption. She herself has adopted internationally 11 times! We talked for about an hour while waiting for Kevin to get home from work and covered a variety of topics. She asked about my family, my childhood, my courtship and marriage, and what sort of a dad I thought Kevin would be. We talked about the upcoming difficulties we would face being an interracial family, how we can help her feel connected to her heritage, and issues we may have with getting an institutionalized child to bond with her main caregivers. She told about how her own daughter from South Korea had a difficult time fitting in to Young Women's and really didn't feel a connection to all the pioneer stories that are so prevalent in our church.

The most difficult question was when she asked why I wanted to be a mother. I know, it should be easy to answer; for most people it probably is. The thing is I have never been a girl who just ached to be a mother. I didn't do very much babysitting in my younger days, preferring to have a paper route instead. I still don't quite understand the appeal of newborns. Sure, they're tiny and sort of cute after their heads spring back to human-shape, but I find them rather boring. It's not until about a year old that they become cute and fun to me. I spent many years chaffing at young women's lessons that seemed to tell me that my only real value as a woman was to be a mother. Heck, I wanted to be everything from an artist to a paleontologist as a kid, but I didn't have much use for a baby doll to play house with.

Word.

The desire to mother snuck up on me over many years. Nieces and nephews helped, particularly my first nephew, Michael, who was born while I was still serving a mission. He was just over a year old when I got home and we quickly went from being unsure strangers to each other to blowing raspberries and making goofy faces at each other.

Honestly, I still couldn't tell you what changed or why I really want this for myself. What I can say is that I want Kevin to have the chance to be a father. Those who know him know that he is one of these people that kids are just drawn to. Kevin is magical and amazing as far as his nieces and nephews are concerned. Any time we go to my brother's house I walk in the door and am greeted with, "Where's Kevin??!!??" Occasionally, they will say hi to me. As far as they're concerned, my showing up is good only insofar as it means that Kevin will also be there. I don't blame them, Kevin is much nicer and more fun than I am. Even the dogs know that. Here is a typical reaction to each of us from Tikka:
Me- "Oh, hey Jen."
Kevin- "KEVIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yup, from day one, Tikka picked Kevin. Not 5 minutes after we met her at the Humane Society she stopped and waited for Kevin to catch up to us on our walk around the building. I figure it probably won't be much different with our kid(s). I can live with that so long as I still get to be part of the group.