On Symbols

There are many things you start to take for granted once you've begun the process of adoption. Lings like abbreviations (of which there are many for Chinese adoption because of the huge amounts of red tape), time lines, symbols, even basic stuff like why international adoption is in place at all. Today's post is on symbols.

Some have been around for centuries (red= good luck), some have been adapted to fit the adoption community (the red thread legend), and some have arisen as frustrated waiting parents have tried to find hope in little things. Such is the case when it comes to ladybugs.

If you've looked around Chinese adoption forums or blogs you have no doubt seen an unusually high number of ladybugs. The ladybug has been used as a symbol of good luck. A number of years ago there was a major slow down in the referrals that came out of China due to reorganization taking place withing China. Waiting parents were getting nervous, frustrated and anxious about it. One day a number of parents from different parts of the country started reporting that they were having lady bug infestations and sightings. Right after that referrals started pouring out of China making a lot of waiting parents very happy and providing a new thing to obsess over for those of us with nothing to do but wait. It's now said that if you have a ladybug sighting it means a referral is right around the corner.

Some people find the ladybug offensive (not sure why except maybe that it assumes only girls are being adopted) others are downright crazy about the little bug and surround themselves with it on quilts, T-shirts, baby clothes, etc. Us? We fall in the camp in the middle. I am not surrounding myself with them, but I can appreciate that it's nice to find little reminders here and there.

In addition to these symbols that are commonly known, there are those that belong only to the individual. Something they have personally chosen to represent their journey. I have one of those.

A while back, Kevin and I had decided it was probably a good time to have children. About 6 months after that decision when there was still no pregnancy I decided to not cut my hair until I got pregnant. It was mostly a joke, but figured it would give me an excuse to try to grow it. I figured it would be another 6 months tops. Well, time went on an no haircut was needed. I got a bit upset when someone commented that my hair was getting longer (not that they knew what that meant to me, but still). We saw some doctors and, long story short, the infertility diagnosis was given. We could have pursued more avenues and aggressive treatment, but opted not to. Frankly, it was a relief to be done and move onto the next step.

It's not that we didn't want biological children, but we cared so much less about biology than we did about being parents. There were some hard times and dark days. I jokingly asked, "Does this mean I can never cut my hair?" I chose to leave it be for a bit until we had a firm plan.

Then came April 11, 2009. That was the day we decided to adopt from China. We knew we had a long wait ahead of us so I opted to continue with the no hair cut resolution. I figured the longer it got, the closer we were to getting our little girl. So what does our adoption wait look like in terms of hair?

Where I started (well, actually about 5 months after I started):



Where I was the other week:



Three years with only one tiny trim (hey, there was some serious mullet-ing happening! Don't judge me!)

My hair doesn't grow extremely fast and it is now longer than it has ever been. It's no longer just people who know me who comment on my hair being long, it's everyone. Yes, my hair is long and so is this wait, but I'm finding my peace with both. Each month, each inch is one more closer to seeing our precious little girl's face.

And speaking of seeing her face, while working in the room that will one day be the nursery I looked above the window and saw this little friend.