Day 15: Guangzhou - Nearing the end

We are nearing the end of our trip and, like Kevin said, we are ready to be home. Don't get me wrong, I will miss China terribly. We love it here and plan on coming back when we can, but living out of a hotel while trying to understand your very active toddler is tricky on a good day, and those are few and far between. This post will be a bit random, but that's what you get at the end of a long day.

We've been lucky enough to make some good friends here and plan on staying in contact with as many of them as we can. Sean and Nora especially seem to have taken to each other and we'll be sad to say goodbye to their family. Tonight at dinner we met downstairs for another impromptu get together with our travel group and when we walked over to Sean and family they both lit up and started babbling to each other.

Things are improving so much with all the families, and Nora is no exception. Her tantrums, though still intense, seem to be fewer and we are doing better about dealing with them without letting her frustrations become our own. They mostly stem from a change to her routine, so we can avoid many by just staying on the ball. her smiles and giggles come more frequently and she checks in with us more and more while she plays, which is great progress. It was pointed out to us that even though Nora's tantrums are difficult to deal with, she is at least not hiding how she feels. The fact that she trusts us enough to show her emotions is actually a big deal and we are so grateful for that, no matter the headaches her screaming causes.

Today we had our consulate appointment at the US embassy. After everything it was rather anti-climactic. We stood and swore that the information we provided was true and complete, we got more papers to sign, we went down the many escalators to the ground floor and that was it. The final bit of adoption business to be conducted in China. After lunch and a nap, we went with Jim, Joslyn, and Sean to visit the smaller park in the area. Aside from the oppressive humidity, the need to carry the babies, and our poor decision to wear sweaters, it was a lovely time. I'm quite sure we were the only Americans there and we got many stares, as we typically do. I don't care for it, but I'm more used to it. We saw a man fishing from a small boat in the lake, the amazing performance of the "70's Experience" band, and older men with cages filled with birds in order to bring them to visit their bird friends outdoors. I loved it. Only in China.

Some more playing, followed by a meeting about our departures and dinner from a local Chinese place made for a full, but enjoyable evening. We will miss our little makeshift family here. The first-time parents (we affectionately call ourselves the noobs) getting great advice from the experienced folks. The kids of various ages running around and playing together. The common thread we all share that our decision to adopt from China happened simply because it felt "right". We know that we've been on the receiving end of so many miracles with this adoption, but I never thought that the group we went with would be part of the plan. We are so very blessed.

I was also thinking today that I never really got a chance to post my thoughts, etc. on Nora day. Here's what I remember. We were all very anxious to meet the babies and new they would be coming at any moment. We scrambled around trying to make sure that pictures and video of the moment we met would be taken care of. The first group of kids came in and I lost it a bit. How could this be real? How could it finally be happening? How could it get any better? Lisa and I (the mother of the 12 year old) stood together wiping away our tears and asking each other how we could be so lucky to be a part of something so beautiful as seeing families united.

After the first group, I think they said Nora was coming in the next one. I don't know if they really said that or I just new that she was next. I looked out the window and saw a van open it's door and saw our sweet girl in person for the first time. I remember wanting to be sure it was her, but I knew it was. She was wearing the same orange scarf and hat we had seen before and I recognized her Ayi. She was there. only separated from me by a door. That's it. I think I told Kevin a few times that she was here and I saw her. Then she was inside and they called her name, meaning we were to go up and meet her. I could hardly believe it, but amazingly I wasn't crying anymore. I think my brain decided it wasn't real, so I shouldn't get all worked up about it. I went to hold her, but with all the layers she had on and as tight as she was clinging to her Ayi, I couldn't get a good hold on her. Finally, I managed to get her in my arms and she looked at me with big scared eyes. She reached for her Ayi a couple times, and that's when the picture book we sent was pulled out so that Nora could see we were the same people. When she realized that the Ayi wasn't going to rescue her from the strange people she started to cry a bit, but a banana quickly remedied that problem.

We got to ask the Ayi a few questions about her routine (warm bottles, hold her to comfort her) and early information (first words were "mama" and "baba") while she made sure I took note of Nora's new shoes. All the while she clung to that banana and looked dazed and so scared. I managed to thank her Ayi and we both got a little teary as it came time to say goodbye. And that was it. We were suddenly parents of this amazing little person. I remember looking at her sweet face and thinking how beautiful she was. How perfect her eyelashes were. Why did my brain need to point out that detail to me? Her skin was as soft as I knew it would be, and she was heavier than I was prepared for.

For two solid days she clung so desperately to me and I felt so inadequate to heal her wounded heart. I had read that a child's play can offer insight into their emotions and she played by throwing her ducky to the floor with all her strength, knocking over towers, and ripping tissues to shreds. She never smiled while she played. She refused to eat bananas. It was an incredibly hard time and I am so glad we are through that rough patch. There are miles yet to travel with her attachment, but the foundation is being built and I love seeing her progress.