The Jacksons in China, Day Six: Zhengzhou

PROGRESS! That is the word for today, in the form that Jen is, as of this writing (9:30 p.m.), going to the bathroom all by herself.  No, really, this is great news for us because it means that Nora is asleep, by herself, on the bed right now.

Let's back up a bit... first things first.  It's official:  we have adopted our little Zhou Yin Ci!  Yes, they brought her to us yesterday and we signed the guardianship agreement and all that good stuff, but this morning we woke up, had breakfast and got on the bus to first go back to the Zhengzhou Children's Welfare Institute, where we picked her up yesterday.  We were there to make it final by signing a form and receiving the official Chinese adoption certificate.  We walked in, sat down, and then the most amazing thing happened.

Nora jumped down off of Jen's lap, took her hand, and walked her over to the play area to the side of the room.  This was a total shock for both of us and I tripped over a chair to get the camera.  Since we picked her up, she has never let Jen put her down, even changing her diaper makes her cry and panic a bit.  This is a girl who in one morning was taken from all the caretakers that she loved and handed to two total strangers, and she now lives in fear that she will lose everything again, so she clings to someone and everyone else (including me) is scary.  This is baby survival mode for one very scared little girl, learning to attach quickly through her greiving process after her loss.  Her clinging and crying is a *good* thing, however, because it means that she is capable of forming those attachments, it'll just take some time as they form with us.

For her to decide to jump up and take Jen to the play area was, therefore, pretty astonishing.  She found a couple of plastic bowling pins and actually started giggling and laughing while banging them together.  For a while anyway, she found joy in bonking me on the head with them.  This wasn't the ideal outcome but I'll take whatever interaction I can get with her right now.  This represents a step forward from the total shutdown she usually stays in.  Jen even started tossing her up in the air a bit and this also elicited giggles and I curse our VPN that won't let me post the video, because I wouldn't believe myself that it happened either.  We both started getting a little misty eyed that she was opening up a bit.  I played with the older kids of some of the other families in the play area while Jen played with Nora and her bowling pins.

The local adoption official came out and gave us a nice little speech, thanking us for coming to China from so far away to take care of their children.  We then got the official adoption certificate with our pictures in it inside a fancy red case.  Then it was back on the bus for our second stop, the local notary office.  There we filled out the notary request form, got everything good and notarized and took a picture with our new family and the notary official.  No big speech this time.

This makes everything official!  We have the papers to prove it.  From here out it's just passports and visa applications, but she's really ours now.

At some point on the bus ride this morning, Nora said "mama" for the first time.

 --

After a couple of hours back at the hotel and a pizza from the in-hotel Italian restaurant (it was pretty good), it was back on the bus for a huge shopping trip to the local Lotus shopping center.  After a lot of honking at everyone and everything in the alley behind, we hopped off the bus and walked into what looked like a regular shopping mall with little stores selling fashion items, only you could get a shopping cart. You take your cart to a moving walkway that disables your wheels somehow and you go up to the next floor, which looks like a Smith's or a Harmons, or you go up to the next floor up which looks like a Walmart.  Our guide took 8 or so of the families through, and the looks we were getting were priceless.  White people carrying Chinese babies is enough of a spectacle, and the staring from everyone was nearly constant, with the occasional glare from an older woman or two.

We found some shoes, diapers, some disposable dishes and a new bottle, then went down to the grocery floor and got snacks, drinks, and some instant noodle bowls.  I was finally able to find some Pepsi light, which was a magical moment in itself.  Then I witnessed a moment that would have had Jen COLD PUNCHING A LADY IN THE FACE if not for the fact that the language barrier took a second to process before the new Mom instincts to cold punch a lady in the face kicked in.

We were always getting funny looks from people, and here was a large group of white people carrying Chinese babies as mentioned, so it's obvious it's an adoption group.  One Chinese woman walked past, saw us and flashed a really sarcastic smile, then came back around a second time, leaned in toward Nora and said, with the same smile,  "ni bu xiang ni de mama, ma?"  This amounts to "you don't like your mama, do you?"  Again, that second of language barrier processing saved that woman's very life.  Jen, composed and stalwart, just turned around and told the woman that yes, indeed she does like her mama.

 --

Dinner back at the hotel room consisted of some absolutely outstanding dumplings and hand-pulled noodles from the neighboring hotel restaurant while chatting with another couple in our group, for whom this is also a first adoption and a first child.  We were mostly trying to see if Nora would come out of her shell when she saw another Chinese kid playing with some toys.  No such luck at that point, I'm afraid.

We had some great progress after, though... Nora also doesn't like being on the floor, even when cradled by Jen, but I was slowly trying to get her to open up to me by playing with the stacking cups with her, and gradually she seemed to do just that.  Jen at one point was able to get her on the floor, because we invented this hilarious new game where she sticks her feet up in the air, and I stick two cups on her feet and ask her if they are her shoes.  She responds by wildly kicking them off into the air whereupon Jen and I cheer wildly and shake her feet.  I'm proud to note that it got her to smile at me for the first time.  Our next amazing game consisted of taking two or three tissues out of the tisue box, ripping them to shreds, then placing them piece by piece into mommy's or daddy' s hand, or the trash can.  This game was apparently rather enjoyable for her.

Which brings us to now... she actually went to sleep and stayed that way after Jen put her down next to, rather than on top of her.  It didn't last forever, but it was a small victory for all Jen accomplished with her today.  She's starting to open up to us and let me closer to interact and play with her, which is the most amazing thing in the world.  I have the cutest stinkin' kid and I'll keep that title when she opens up fully soon and gets all her little giggles back where they belong, wit us.

Pics later for this entry, I promise.  It's late.